Become Comfortable with Paradoxes

Arguing Over a Paradox

Life is a Paradox

Happy Birthday Mike Cernovich. He recently wrote an excellent reflection post: 40 Principles to Live By on my 40th Birthday. It reminded me of Ed Latimore's post: 30 lessons from 30 years of life. If you followed the advice from both lists, it would be impossible not to become successful in life. Mike's principle about paradoxes really stood out for me.

3. Become comfortable with paradoxes... Get used to holding simultaneously contradictory thoughts.

I like the setup with Mike's post. He first gives you two contradictory principles, and then tells you to deal with it. You are the most important person in your life, but at the same time you must surrender feelings of self-importance. There is a sweet spot for getting what you want without coming from a place of neediness or weakness. That is the Zen-like state.

It reminds me of Ivan Throne's Ninth Law: "The Ninth Law is No Laws". No laws means "unbounded freedom of infinite possibility". Ivan goes into detail 8 Laws to abide by and in the end blows everything up with his Ninth Law. It is a paradox, but the laws are powerful stuff. Go buy a copy of Ivan's book here.


Understanding Nuance and Subtlety

As a bonus, Mike did a podcast episode with Stefan Molyneux and goes over the principles in further detail. Watch it here. In his talk with Stefan, he brings up some more sayings.

Don't sweat the small stuff
The devil is in the details
Think big, Start small

If we use the Pareto Principle, 80% of what you worry about it will never happen so don't sweat that small stuff. However, 20% is worth noting. So the devil is in the details. The important small items are necessary to start if you want to achieve big things. Experience teaches you what is important and what isn't. In addition, experience teaches you that life is less binary and more nuanced. Nuance and subtlety are small stuff yet determine big outcomes. Life is one big paradox.

Nuance and subtlety play nicely into Mike's 4th Principle

4. Look for the sentiment expressed by a person rather than the literal truth. 

If you took what Trump said literally, you would go insane. This is actually happening with Trump Derangement Syndrome. Scott Adams does a good job talking about the cognitive dissonance that creates Trump Derangement Syndrome. Watch the interview Dave Rubin has with Scott Adams here.

The idea of sentiment is something Scott also talks about. Trump's statements often are correct in the sense of a broader direction he wants to move the country towards. Even if the details or "facts" Trump uses are not accurate. To learn more about persuasion and why facts don't matter, get your copy of Scott Adams Win Bigly here. Facts don't matter, yet some facts do matter. Just another paradox.

Subtlety is why two seemly contradictory statements can both be correct. Scott in a recent Periscope argued that both Trump and Time are correct. Trump argued that he was probably going to be Time's Person of the Year. Time responded that Trump's statement is incorrect. A news article involves both a writing editor and a photo editor working separately to get material. The photo editor does not have all the information on why he needs a photo shoot with the President. As a result he may have used some hyperbole (much like how Trump uses "Truthful Hyperbole") to get a photo shoot with the President.


What is Authenticity?

You often hear a phrase, be yourself. But what exactly is that? And can you view yourself in isolation? Here comes another paradox.

5. You are the product of your habits and your friends and family.

It is impossible to completely be yourself. Because we are social creatures, we are influenced by the people around us. Hunter Drew understands this very well as a father. His kids look to him for guidance and copy his habits. This is why a tip to success is being around successful people. As kids, we learn through imitation, and this does not change in adulthood. We pick up the habits of those we spend the most time with. Actions not words (Acta non verba) are persuasive. Leaders cannot expect to have their followers perform an action if they do not do said action themselves. This apples to business and families.

Don't be bossy, be a leader

Hypocrisy is considered a negative. In some ways, hypocrisy is just basic normie tier criticism. You have to be willing to challenge long held beliefs in yourself and change. Dr. Jordan Peterson mentioned that most of our long held beliefs must be let go.

"The truth is something that burns, it burns off deadwood and people don't like having their deadwood burnt off often because they're 95% deadwood"

I follow people who block each other on Twitter. They have opposing views. I follow critics of Mike Cernovich. I follow critics of Rollo Tomassi. But that does not mean I follow everybody. There is no point following those suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome. That mental instability will poison you. You want to see as complete of a picture as possible on how to view the world.

Your core group should be compatible with you on the broad issues. But it should not be Yes men. Do you want clones or do you want friends? You don't want an echo chamber. However, you need to filter out noise that is destructive. I have no use for Antifa Leftists or Nazi LARPers (which may just be controlled opposition used by the Left).

Here's something that'll blow your mind. The human body contains trillions of microorganisms that outnumber human cells 10 to 1. Most of you isn't even you. Did you know gut bacteria produce neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine? That's right, Gut flora influence mood. This brings us to Mike's next principle

6. If you have the choice, be as fit and healthy as possible. 

So what is authenticity then? An authentic self would have a solid frame. Authenticity is a strong foundation that can withstand mother nature's chaos. This is why authenticity is so attractive. The chaotic wilderness is unforgiving and full of danger. A strong sense of self provides security and stability. It is the nucleus holding the core of your being. Atoms, cells, families, communities, countries, solar systems. All depend on a core foundation. Authenticity is the tree trunk and roots that can support the tree house of civilization. It is the consistency living by a set of virtues and principles. The tree house changes, and you must adapt to changing environments. But the foundation remains constant.


Wisdom of the Ancients

Dr. Jordan Peterson does a great job taking the wisdom of the ancients, explaining the psychological significance of that wisdom, and then showing us a road map of how to use that wisdom to help better ourselves. And the wisdom comes from all different civilizations like Mesopotamia, Egypt, China, and Biblical times. One of my favorite Dr. Jordan Peterson quotes involves the balance between order and chaos.

If you live your life properly you stand with one foot in order and one foot in chaos

Life is a paradox with a constant tension between two modes. Order and chaos. Yin and yang. Construction and destruction. Logic and emotion. Masculine and feminine. These ideas have been talked about for as long as humans have been around.

General Mattis said it best

Ultimately, a real understanding of history means that we face nothing new under the sun

If you think of life as a simulation, there have been enough iterations of generations to understand how to live a meaningful life. And there have been enough iterations to make some accurate predictions on how people react to stimuli. Reading old texts is vital to understanding the world. Or like Mike would say in his 7th principle.

7. Read old books to understand the news. 

Leave Her Better than You Found Her

There is a startling graph that would lend to the argument against premarital sex.

Number of Partners Matters

If you want to learn more about intersexual dynamics, pick up Rollo Tomassi's The Rationale Male book series here. If you want to know why women go from party years, to marriage and kids, to divorce, read his stuff. You'll understand and see The Matrix you live in. Bad habits eventually become chains that imprison you and are very hard to break. In this case, female sexual promiscuity is a major red flag. Why would a woman be faithful to a man if she keeps looking around for the next fling?

But this leads to an interesting question. If a woman's count is a major red flag, as a man, how do I have fun with flings while not contributing to this problem? And I believe the number of partners also matters in guys although the range may be higher. There are countless examples of pick-up artists who get burnt out from too much pussy and never understand how to have a relationship with someone. There can always be too much of a good thing.

Mike talks about this in his 8th Principle

8. Seek meaning and fulfillment, not pleasure.

Go have fun, but know there will come a point to leave the game. I think the Boy Scout rule applies here. Leave her better than you found her. If she is a good person, don't damage her so that she'll become jaded. And if she's not a good person, maybe she needs some form of punishment that will set her straight. Once again, I believe the ancients understood female nature and how to deal with it.


A Physics Paradox

I'll close by showing you how even physics has paradoxes. The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle states that you can never simultaneously know the exact position and the exact speed of a particle. The more accurately we know one of these values, the less accurately we know the other. It's as if there is an opportunity cost to obtain one measurement over another.

You may have heard about Einstein's quest for a unified theory. Classical physics and quantum physics currently do not work together. This is because classical physics is deterministic and quantum physics is probabilistic. While we can predict the future with classical physics, we have no such luck with quantum. We only have probabilities of outcome. Yet somehow they have to work together, because our universe consists of atomic particles and galaxies.

Apply this to life. Understand when facts matter and when they do not. If the fact can be accurately measured and reproduced, chances are you are dealing with a deterministic outcome. Other times, you may be dealing with probabilities. And consistent effort towards a specific outcome is needed to get the probability as close to 1.

Overcome the Static Friction

The energy required to overcome this static friction is greater than your ability to sprint for a week and achieve a result. There's a reason behind the saying life is a marathon not a sprint. Consistency over a long period of time creates enough momentum to break through the barrier to success. Once the barrier is broken, it becomes much easier to maintain success.  I wrote about other life lessons derived from physics here.

Final disclaimer: None of the people I referenced came to me and asked that I market their material. Their material is just that good that everyone needs to read/watch/listen to it. Also, this is the main group of people I follow to get my world view and stay up to date on current events. Also, don't listen to me, figure it out for yourself. Listen to me, but don't listen to me. One final paradox.