Become Comfortable with Paradoxes

Arguing Over a Paradox

Life is a Paradox

Happy Birthday Mike Cernovich. He recently wrote an excellent reflection post: 40 Principles to Live By on my 40th Birthday. It reminded me of Ed Latimore's post: 30 lessons from 30 years of life. If you followed the advice from both lists, it would be impossible not to become successful in life. Mike's principle about paradoxes really stood out for me.

3. Become comfortable with paradoxes... Get used to holding simultaneously contradictory thoughts.

I like the setup with Mike's post. He first gives you two contradictory principles, and then tells you to deal with it. You are the most important person in your life, but at the same time you must surrender feelings of self-importance. There is a sweet spot for getting what you want without coming from a place of neediness or weakness. That is the Zen-like state.

It reminds me of Ivan Throne's Ninth Law: "The Ninth Law is No Laws". No laws means "unbounded freedom of infinite possibility". Ivan goes into detail 8 Laws to abide by and in the end blows everything up with his Ninth Law. It is a paradox, but the laws are powerful stuff. Go buy a copy of Ivan's book here.


Understanding Nuance and Subtlety

As a bonus, Mike did a podcast episode with Stefan Molyneux and goes over the principles in further detail. Watch it here. In his talk with Stefan, he brings up some more sayings.

Don't sweat the small stuff
The devil is in the details
Think big, Start small

If we use the Pareto Principle, 80% of what you worry about it will never happen so don't sweat that small stuff. However, 20% is worth noting. So the devil is in the details. The important small items are necessary to start if you want to achieve big things. Experience teaches you what is important and what isn't. In addition, experience teaches you that life is less binary and more nuanced. Nuance and subtlety are small stuff yet determine big outcomes. Life is one big paradox.

Nuance and subtlety play nicely into Mike's 4th Principle

4. Look for the sentiment expressed by a person rather than the literal truth. 

If you took what Trump said literally, you would go insane. This is actually happening with Trump Derangement Syndrome. Scott Adams does a good job talking about the cognitive dissonance that creates Trump Derangement Syndrome. Watch the interview Dave Rubin has with Scott Adams here.

The idea of sentiment is something Scott also talks about. Trump's statements often are correct in the sense of a broader direction he wants to move the country towards. Even if the details or "facts" Trump uses are not accurate. To learn more about persuasion and why facts don't matter, get your copy of Scott Adams Win Bigly here. Facts don't matter, yet some facts do matter. Just another paradox.

Subtlety is why two seemly contradictory statements can both be correct. Scott in a recent Periscope argued that both Trump and Time are correct. Trump argued that he was probably going to be Time's Person of the Year. Time responded that Trump's statement is incorrect. A news article involves both a writing editor and a photo editor working separately to get material. The photo editor does not have all the information on why he needs a photo shoot with the President. As a result he may have used some hyperbole (much like how Trump uses "Truthful Hyperbole") to get a photo shoot with the President.


What is Authenticity?

You often hear a phrase, be yourself. But what exactly is that? And can you view yourself in isolation? Here comes another paradox.

5. You are the product of your habits and your friends and family.

It is impossible to completely be yourself. Because we are social creatures, we are influenced by the people around us. Hunter Drew understands this very well as a father. His kids look to him for guidance and copy his habits. This is why a tip to success is being around successful people. As kids, we learn through imitation, and this does not change in adulthood. We pick up the habits of those we spend the most time with. Actions not words (Acta non verba) are persuasive. Leaders cannot expect to have their followers perform an action if they do not do said action themselves. This apples to business and families.

Don't be bossy, be a leader

Hypocrisy is considered a negative. In some ways, hypocrisy is just basic normie tier criticism. You have to be willing to challenge long held beliefs in yourself and change. Dr. Jordan Peterson mentioned that most of our long held beliefs must be let go.

"The truth is something that burns, it burns off deadwood and people don't like having their deadwood burnt off often because they're 95% deadwood"

I follow people who block each other on Twitter. They have opposing views. I follow critics of Mike Cernovich. I follow critics of Rollo Tomassi. But that does not mean I follow everybody. There is no point following those suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome. That mental instability will poison you. You want to see as complete of a picture as possible on how to view the world.

Your core group should be compatible with you on the broad issues. But it should not be Yes men. Do you want clones or do you want friends? You don't want an echo chamber. However, you need to filter out noise that is destructive. I have no use for Antifa Leftists or Nazi LARPers (which may just be controlled opposition used by the Left).

Here's something that'll blow your mind. The human body contains trillions of microorganisms that outnumber human cells 10 to 1. Most of you isn't even you. Did you know gut bacteria produce neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine? That's right, Gut flora influence mood. This brings us to Mike's next principle

6. If you have the choice, be as fit and healthy as possible. 

So what is authenticity then? An authentic self would have a solid frame. Authenticity is a strong foundation that can withstand mother nature's chaos. This is why authenticity is so attractive. The chaotic wilderness is unforgiving and full of danger. A strong sense of self provides security and stability. It is the nucleus holding the core of your being. Atoms, cells, families, communities, countries, solar systems. All depend on a core foundation. Authenticity is the tree trunk and roots that can support the tree house of civilization. It is the consistency living by a set of virtues and principles. The tree house changes, and you must adapt to changing environments. But the foundation remains constant.


Wisdom of the Ancients

Dr. Jordan Peterson does a great job taking the wisdom of the ancients, explaining the psychological significance of that wisdom, and then showing us a road map of how to use that wisdom to help better ourselves. And the wisdom comes from all different civilizations like Mesopotamia, Egypt, China, and Biblical times. One of my favorite Dr. Jordan Peterson quotes involves the balance between order and chaos.

If you live your life properly you stand with one foot in order and one foot in chaos

Life is a paradox with a constant tension between two modes. Order and chaos. Yin and yang. Construction and destruction. Logic and emotion. Masculine and feminine. These ideas have been talked about for as long as humans have been around.

General Mattis said it best

Ultimately, a real understanding of history means that we face nothing new under the sun

If you think of life as a simulation, there have been enough iterations of generations to understand how to live a meaningful life. And there have been enough iterations to make some accurate predictions on how people react to stimuli. Reading old texts is vital to understanding the world. Or like Mike would say in his 7th principle.

7. Read old books to understand the news. 

Leave Her Better than You Found Her

There is a startling graph that would lend to the argument against premarital sex.

Number of Partners Matters

If you want to learn more about intersexual dynamics, pick up Rollo Tomassi's The Rationale Male book series here. If you want to know why women go from party years, to marriage and kids, to divorce, read his stuff. You'll understand and see The Matrix you live in. Bad habits eventually become chains that imprison you and are very hard to break. In this case, female sexual promiscuity is a major red flag. Why would a woman be faithful to a man if she keeps looking around for the next fling?

But this leads to an interesting question. If a woman's count is a major red flag, as a man, how do I have fun with flings while not contributing to this problem? And I believe the number of partners also matters in guys although the range may be higher. There are countless examples of pick-up artists who get burnt out from too much pussy and never understand how to have a relationship with someone. There can always be too much of a good thing.

Mike talks about this in his 8th Principle

8. Seek meaning and fulfillment, not pleasure.

Go have fun, but know there will come a point to leave the game. I think the Boy Scout rule applies here. Leave her better than you found her. If she is a good person, don't damage her so that she'll become jaded. And if she's not a good person, maybe she needs some form of punishment that will set her straight. Once again, I believe the ancients understood female nature and how to deal with it.


A Physics Paradox

I'll close by showing you how even physics has paradoxes. The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle states that you can never simultaneously know the exact position and the exact speed of a particle. The more accurately we know one of these values, the less accurately we know the other. It's as if there is an opportunity cost to obtain one measurement over another.

You may have heard about Einstein's quest for a unified theory. Classical physics and quantum physics currently do not work together. This is because classical physics is deterministic and quantum physics is probabilistic. While we can predict the future with classical physics, we have no such luck with quantum. We only have probabilities of outcome. Yet somehow they have to work together, because our universe consists of atomic particles and galaxies.

Apply this to life. Understand when facts matter and when they do not. If the fact can be accurately measured and reproduced, chances are you are dealing with a deterministic outcome. Other times, you may be dealing with probabilities. And consistent effort towards a specific outcome is needed to get the probability as close to 1.

Overcome the Static Friction

The energy required to overcome this static friction is greater than your ability to sprint for a week and achieve a result. There's a reason behind the saying life is a marathon not a sprint. Consistency over a long period of time creates enough momentum to break through the barrier to success. Once the barrier is broken, it becomes much easier to maintain success.  I wrote about other life lessons derived from physics here.

Final disclaimer: None of the people I referenced came to me and asked that I market their material. Their material is just that good that everyone needs to read/watch/listen to it. Also, this is the main group of people I follow to get my world view and stay up to date on current events. Also, don't listen to me, figure it out for yourself. Listen to me, but don't listen to me. One final paradox.

Goldmund Unleashed - The Pursuit of Pure Works of Art

Female Nature

A big reason I enjoy hearing Dr. Peterson's lectures is because he takes many cultures, works of art, and literary pieces and mashes them together. He finds the patterns that connect them all together. This is his art form. Digesting information in a manner that can instruct others to do the same. These blog posts are my attempt to do the same thing. Take different experiences, mash them together, and see the underlying patterns. Those are the insights, the tiny nuggets of gold.

I have gotten to learn about the psychology behind famous stories thanks to Dr. Jordan Peterson. I love how he illustrates the archetypes that make up a story. One of the earliest known written languages comes from Mesopotamia during the Bronze Age. There is a Mesopotamian creation story about a god who slays a dragon and creates Earth from the remains. Marduk is the god who defeats Tiamat. She symbolizes primordial chaos.

This motif shows up time and time again across many civilizations. The hero ventures into the unknown (the primoridal chaos), defeats a monster (dragon), and reaps the treasure. Beowulf and the Hobbit come to mind. In addition, humans were speaking long before writing. It is not a stretch to imagine this story framework being as old as humanity itself. The archetypes are patterns of behavior that have been distilled over countless generations. These are the building blocks for our most popular modern stories.

Female nature, mother nature, the feminine spirit represents chaos. Note chaos is amoral, neither good nor bad. Mother nature has the capacity to create or destroy civilizations. A fertile land brings life. But hurricanes, volcanoes, and droughts can wipe out life. The Oedipal Mother is an example of destructive female nature. It is the pathological protection of a child to the point of destroying a child's sense of self sufficiency.

Sleeping Beauty is one example of the Oedipal Mother. Princess Aurora is so sheltered that she is completely unprepared for life and falls into a coma. In Hansel and Gretel, the witch coddles and fattens up Hansel before attempting to eat him. When Dr. Peterson talked about the Oedipal Mother, it hit me hard because that was my childhood. But my story is not unique. Without a balancing masculine presence, many kids grow up with overprotective mothers.

There is a silver lining to this. Dr. Peterson talked about the story of Jacob from the Bible. Jacob is not a hero to begin with. He's a mamma's boy that does what his mother tells him to do. And he betray's his older brother. Despite all of this, he redeems himself and becomes the father of the nation of Israel. One thing Dr. Peterson said that I really enjoyed hearing, "The genius is in the resolution. The precondition of the genius is the dissolution". There must be a period of mental struggle before the solution comes. The mentors and older brother figures I look up to have gone through a period of struggle.

This brings me to one brother figure, Goldmund, who I had the pleasure of meeting and talking with at the 21 Convention. You can read about my thoughts on the 21 Convention here. He models his life after the character Goldmund from the novel Narcissus and Goldmund. Looking back, I can clearly see the female archetypes being played out in this novel. A couple of things really struck me from reading this novel. These are mild spoilers.

In the novel, Goldmund states that often times a woman can display conflicting emotions. He notices how pain and pleasure produce the same lines on a woman's face. To expand on this conflict, women seek a man who brings both joy and fear to her soul. Love in the midst of danger is a woman's kryptonite. In addition, a true work of art is not static. The object produces the whole spectrum of human emotion. As a result, there is a sense of mystery in the piece. Looking at it multiple times can generate different reactions. Finally, Goldmund's thoughts on a mother consist of both birth and death. Mother nature both creates and destroys.

Goldmund, the real life person, has also written a couple books himself. I read Go Forth and got to learn more about female nature. The big thing women look for is passion. And I think this passion is the result of a man's fighting spirit. A quote from the book:

If you observe all of the major mammals, the male is always the one pursuing the female. She is testing his genes, asking: does he have the willpower and determination to get what he wants? Is he strong and confident enough to reach his goal? If so, she accepts his DNA.

There was also a warning to women. "The educated ones who remain single until their late twenties ended up miserable and with men who are poor mates".

Another book, The Man From Brooklyn, offers a female perspective on what she thought of Goldmund. One piece of advice she gave, "Don't abuse this, but women are incredibly patient with a man they are in love with." One more quote further illustrates the yin yang nature of women. "Women will resist your efforts of sex, but then they will do everything in their power to keep you around."

Goldmund is in the pursuit of his own true work of art. There is a constant swirl of various emotions beneath the surface which I think you can see in his face. His smile is warm and open, yet at the same time there is a hint of melancholy eyes. Because the true artist hates being typecast, I have a feeling Goldmund began his metamorphosis because he felt he was becoming too associated with the Indiana Jones theme.

I recommend you read Narcissus and Goldmund and then read Go Forth and The Man From Brooklyn. You'll better appreciate the richness of Goldmund's stories and also get a better sense of how Goldmund thinks. I also wonder, since he is modeling his life after the character Goldmund, is he willing to meet the same fate that Goldmund faced...

The Molyneux Paradox and Becoming Irrationally Rational

Captain John Parker

A Clash of Reason and Persuasion

Stefan Molyneux interviewed Scott Adams on his new book "Win Bigly". You can see the enlightening interview here. I have read about a third of Win Bigly and have thoroughly enjoyed it so far. Much of what I write in this post has been influenced by this book. In other words, Scott has been very persuasive in getting me to think about persuasion.

I highly recommend listening to these two intellectual giants. For those who don't know, Stefan Molyneux is a philosopher whose mission is to spread the ideas of liberty, reason, and evidence. The more rational people are, the better it is for individual freedom. Stefan is able to persuade the audience to think more logically through the clever use of humor, visualizations, and analogies.

It may appear to be a clash of two ideas having these two guys meet. The subtitle for Win Bigly is Persuasion in a World Where Facts Don't Matter. I argue that Stefan's mission falls in line with Scott Adams argument that facts don't matter. Stefan believes that the world can become more logical despite the world being highly illogical. Is this an irrational belief? I'll talk about The Molyneux Paradox later on.


Why Our Sense of Reality is Limited

Did you know we can only sense 4% of the universe? The other 96% is made of dark energy and dark matter. We can't even detect it. Senses vary between species. Dogs cannot see as many colors as we can. Bees can see UV light. Even our sight has blind spots. To compensate, the brain takes a best guess and fills in the holes. This is why optical illusions can exist. To learn more you can read this article, Your brain is a liar and can’t be trusted.

Scott Adams consistently said that Trump would win in a landslide. Mike Cernovich also correctly predicted a Trump victory, but believed it would be close. Who was right? Actually both had a point. If you just looked at electoral votes, it was a landslide. Point to Scott. On the other hand, the background states were decided on the slimmest of margins. A few thousands vote swing in a couple states would have led to a different election result. Point to Mike.

There is the faulty assumption that the absence of evidence is the evidence of absence. Problem is, "facts" are often up to interpretation. Whoever can present certain "facts" better wins. In addition, if our senses are limited and our instruments can only measure so much, how can we really be sure of reality? Maybe there are forces beyond our comprehension at play.


Persuasion in Engineering

Even in the tech and engineering world, persuasion is occurring. I forget where I heard about Professor Bob Metcalfe. It may have been Scott Adams as well, but maybe I'm just hallucinating 😉. You can read the following article to learn more about Metcalfe persuading the community to adapt to his Ethernet standards.

The main reason Ethernet - which in its quarter-century has accelerated from 3 megabits to 1 gigabit per second - prevailed over competing technologies like IBM's Token Ring is because of Metcalfe's toughness and charisma. He invented Ethernet, but he also made sure it became an open standard.

Notice how there were competing technologies. I'm sure these solutions were just as technically viable as Metcalfe's Ethernet. As you can see, our ability to gather enough facts to make an informed decision is limited even in the engineering world. It came down to toughness, leadership, and charisma for the final push.


The Molyneux Paradox

I've come up with the term The Molyneux Paradox. It is the irrational belief in rationality. It is a subset of a more general idea: Irrational Self Confidence, a term I picked up from Hunter Drew. Stefan's goal is to make the world more rational. He's an entrepreneur, and entrepreneurship is a perfect illustration of irrational self confidence. No one will believe more in the idea than the creator of the idea. The entrepreneur must be irrational enough to believe he can make a dent in the universe and persuade enough people to join his mission. Thus the Molyneux Paradox. Stefan must be irrational enough to believe in his mission that humanity can become more rational.


Irrational Self Confidence

Trump has an irrational belief in himself. Critics will call it narcissism. Supporters will call it a fighting spirit. Regardless, his positive thinking has led to remarkable achievements. The most recent being elected President of the United States. For someone with no previous political positions, Trump had to be irrationally confident in his abilities to win the presidency.

Anthony Johnson created the 21 Convention when he was 17. Everybody thought he was crazy. He had zero business experience and no money. But he had irrational self confidence, and he figured out how to make it work. This year he celebrated the 10 Year Anniversary of the 21 Convention, and I had the honor of meeting him in person. The 21 Convention has been held all over the globe and people from all over the globe come to attend the event. Belief in your mission is powerful stuff.


The Need for Standards

Another way to think about The Molyneux Paradox: You have to be irrationally rational. The rational part of you comes from holding yourself to a measurable standard. The irrational part of you continues to fight for that standard despite the world throwing obstacles in your way. Having accurate, measurable standards allows you to improve. Having irrational tenacity maintains that improvement.

On a macro level, empirical standards make things more efficient and reduces redundancies. We have particular standards for power lines and water systems so that we don't clutter communities with multiple lines and pipes. The same Ethernet cord standards are used internationally. This allows for seamless communication between nodes in a network. For things we can measure, we have empirical standards. Muh roads have a consistent width, wires come in particular gauges, etc.

But as I stated before, our measurements of reality are limited. On a macro level, we must be irrational and believe in a generally agreed upon set of standards to lay the foundation for civilization. Interactions between populations of humans are incredibly complex. And feelings are a terrible measurement due to our cognitive dissonances and confirmation biases.

This is why religion was invented. The Biblical standard provides a general template on how to treat others. This ethical foundation frees up brainpower to focus on positive creative endeavors. Having faith in the framework despite not knowing exactly why it works still leads to positive results. Parents give their kids guidance. The kid may not understand why it works until later in life. But that guidance is essential for proper development. A coach implements a new system. The players may not fully understand why it works until later in the season, but faith in the system and proper execution yields positive results.

Setting up a positive standard for yourself and taking actions within a system you've set up can lead to powerful transformations. Read Scott Adam's other book "How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big" to see a perfect example of this. A math example helps illustrate this point.


Become a Gravitational Constant

Position, Velocity, Acceleration

Here are three graphs. The left is position. The center is velocity. And the right is acceleration. Let's pretend that your position represents your quality of life. You've hit a rough patch and life is sucking hard. It feels like you are in free fall. People often only see your position and your velocity. "Boy, his position in life is still getting worse and he's still moving backwards"

But upon further inspection, you see that while the movement is backwards, the rate is not as negative as before. There is a slight improvement despite life still going the wrong way. Pretty soon, the crash hits bottom and life begins to bounce back. This is one big metaphor. Your force in this world depends on the strength of your vision or what direction you want to go. Your direction is your acceleration. Actions you take towards your direction are a positive acceleration.

The acceleration may be tiny. But as the graph shows, constant acceleration aka consistency in your actions is key to turning your life around. In fact, it can turn your life around and soon skyrocket your life to new heights. If you maintain your constant acceleration long enough, others will soon emulate you. You become a gravitational constant. And you have the confidence knowing that any future setbacks are temporary. A constant positive acceleration will turn dips back into positive outcomes.

Scott Adams mentioned that Trump got people thinking in his direction, even if his facts were wrong. Trump has an enormous gravitational pull. Even if critics think he's wrong, they eventually begin discussing things on his terms. The Wall seems inevitable now even though it was viewed as a joke when Trump first ran.

Be irrationally confident and stand up for your standards. Don't engage in a fight unless the enemy wishes to fight. And if the war must come, becoming irrationally savage. That is how you Win Bigly.